BR: Born Twice (Guiseppe Pontiggia)

Amazon Link: Born Twice

When Professor Frigerio’s second-born child, a boy, is born developmentally challenged, Frigerio questions the role he played in his son’s fate. He cheated on Franca, the boy’s mother and his wife, while she was pregnant. Maternal stress can contribute to a foetus’ development. He knows that, and suffers for it.

The story spans thirty years, taking erratic jumps back and forward as Frigerio seeks to understand his son’s limitations, and to accept them. I’m unsure he ever truly succeeds -- I'm unsure anyone can.

I found this book challenging, distressing, it hit home in a way that I had not imagined it could. At times I longed to reach in and throttle Frigerio for his emotional ineptitude, his damned selfishness! But, in hindsight,I understand him, I sympathise with him, even if I (at times) hated him.

Arguably, he mistreated his son, Paolo, left the boy stranded in a body that betrayed him and offered little parental support. When Paolo was young Frigerio wanted a photograph of him sitting on a beach. Paolo’s body refused to accommodate the father’s desire, but instead of accepting that and opting for a different pose, Frigerio persisted, ignored his son’s distress and propped him up like a doll. The boy was afraid, unable to control his muscles, he continually fell each time his parents removed their physical support. They kept trying, despite their son’s distress, consumed by their desire for a photograph they could be proud to display to their friends. I’m afraid that admission set my nerves on edge and darkened my perception of the events in the novel.

Paolo seemingly thrived despite his parents’ issues, but imagine how he might have blossomed if his father had dragged his head out of his own ass long enough to see beyond his son’s shell to the spirit within. At times he did, there are moments in this novel where Frigerio got it right, even though he wished for his child to be ‘normal’, he accommodated his son’s differences and supported him.

In reading, I wished for Frigerio to move to a point where he would love his child unconditionally, where he would be thankful for Paolo just as he was. Frigerio never reached that point, and in hindsight, I was delusional to believe he could – to believe anyone could. It’s not human nature to embrace difference, most people aspire to the norm. Seeing that in Frigerio raised some tender issues for me, but it’s nothing that I don’t feel for myself. If I were in Frigerio’s position, I’d feel the same way, and that was the hardest thing for me to accept.

Aside from the heated emotional reaction that I experienced (which is a testament to the writing style, I must admit), the book is well written. The choppiness of the telling was a little off-putting, but the word choices, the similes, metaphors, the author’s vocabulary is delightful.

I want to say I hated this book, because I did. It opened old sores, made them weep, made me ache with a sense of helpless injustice. With the benefit of reflection, and some emotional distance, I see it’s not all that bad, and Frigerio isn’t an evil, sadistic bastard who had no sense of empathy for his son. He’s a human, and the story is truthful… and the truth hurts. But, I’d prefer literary honesty than a feel good ‘happily ever after’ with no basis in reality… even if it makes me feel like a rotten piece of crap for a while.

I’m going to give this a high rating (despite my initial desire to set fire to it), because it’s well written, it’s real (Frigerio is flawed, despite his intellect), and the territory it covers is a bitter reality. I may disagree with Frigerio, but I can’t fault his truth. For that, I give this four stars. Who knows, maybe I’ll read it again and unwedge my own head from my ass, just like I wanted Frigerio to, maybe that way I'd be less like him and more evolved. It's food for thought.

Rating: **** (out of *****)